10/9/16 - The Oval Portrait (1972)

With a name like Edgar Allen Poe's "The Oval Portrait," it's got to be scary, right? Or how would you feel about a Civil War melodrama with a ghost?

I don't have the history of either Poe's story or this adaptation, but if I had to guess I'd say this thing was made for TV. It feels very soap opera-ish at times, and the structure and the caliber of the sets/costumes/etc. seem more fit for home exhibition. There aren't obvious giveaways (i.e. scenes that fade out and then in to provide an easy spot for a commercial break), but there is a "Guest Star" listed in the opening credits, so who knows. Now, this accusation of TV Moviedom isn't meant to dismiss it entirely; I actually had a pretty good time with The Oval Portrait. But I don't tend to watch soapy dramas, so it could have just been the novelty of the thing for me. I suspect if you watched period piece dramas regularly, this one would probably not be so good. But it passed the time inoffensively enough for me.

10/8/16 - Para Elisa (2012)

So, I watched Para Elisa. It is by no means a complex movie, but I was having trouble figuring out how to condense the plot into an easy line or two. Onto imdb.com! They say:

Para Elisa is a terrifying story based on a simple, innocent children's game. Something that looks naive and harmless turns into the worst nightmare, into the struggle to escape a tragic and expected end, into an explicit and inevitable horror.

What?

10/7/16 - The Dread (2007)

So I guess I was tempting fate by mostly recommending Bleed yesterday. Despite its flaws (and very low imdb rating), I kind of dug its kitchen sink approach, and could easily look past its iffy story telling choices and confusing plot points. But today brought me The Dread, which is even lower rated on imdb. And while it had the same approach in terms of mashing up genres (slasher/monster/ghost, in this case?) and a similar disinterest in explaining much story-wise, it didn't fare nearly as well.

It's clearly a cheaper film than Bleed, and considering The Dread was made about 10 years prior it's not going to look as good. I think indie films like this get dumped on more than they should, but even when a taken with a considerably sized grain of salt (I want to take it easy on films in this budget range, you know?), The Dread is not very good.

10/6/16 - Bleed (2016)

Every online indicator seemed to point towards me not liking Bleed. Netflix thought I would give it the dreaded one-star, and it had the lowest imdb rating that I've encountered this month. And that includes Black Eyed Children: Let Me In, which is barely even a movie! And while it's true that Bleed is often a cliched mess, I kind of appreciated that mess. It's got a kitchen sink approach regarding its subgenre/plot, looks slick, and is pretty gory without ever really going over the top. I *get* the one-star reviews, but I don't agree with them.

10/5/16 - Bunker of the Dead (2015)

So I'd have to think that Nazi Zombies are pretty much an official subgenre by now - between the Red Snow series, Frankenstein's Army, and Bunker of the Dead we've got a few to choose from. And that's just the European-produced ones. There's almost certainly a couple of American ones in there too. (You don't get to Osombie without at least trying zombie Hitler.)

But while there's always something interesting about Nazi Zombies in theory - there's a campy energy there, and they're probably going to look cool - it's almost always a matter of style over substance in these films. (Red Snow comes the closest to bucking that trend, I guess.) Bunker of the Dead is more of the same - the zombies look pretty good, there's some decent chaotic action, and the titular bunker is claustrophobic enough to give the film a decent atmosphere. And really, a hidden Nazi bunker on a US military base is not a terrible setting for a cheesy horror film. But the characters and story range from bad to bland, so nothing sticks.

10/4/16 - The Blood Lands (2014)

The Blood Lands starts off promisingly. From the outset, you can tell it's a well put together film. It's well shot, has a cool looking central location (an old home in the Scottish countryside), and the leads are likable enough. That's especially important here, since they are pretty much the only non-masked people in the film. The first half-hour or so is a slow build with very little action, but it's well done enough that you have high hopes for things once they eventually get into motion.

And when they do? It's not bad, but mostly feels like your standard issue home invasion flick, with maybe a little less of a sadistic streak. But again, it's competent enough that if gives you faith in the rest of it - you want to wait around and see if the story can deliver. You want to be on its side, which is more than you can say for a lot of movies. So there's that.

10/3/16 - Black Eyed Children: Let Me In (2015)

I don't want to be too hard on people who make films with very few resources. I mean, making a movie, shitty or not, takes a ton of work. So, even when a movie like Black Eyed Children: Let Me In is really, really bad, it's at least worthy of respect and admiration on some level.

Maybe this is even more true for B.E.C. than most indie horror, because for a while it actually seems like writer-director Justin Snyder might actually be making this film totally on his own. Early on, he's just talking to the camera alone, using a microphone not meant for handheld use (bad sound is a recurring thing throughout), and even when he's interviewing another person in frame the camera isn't moving. I would bet Snyder doesn't have a camera man in tow - in fact, this is one of the first movies I've ever seen where I'm pretty sure some people just filmed their parts on their own and mailed them in. A lot of B.E.C. is just a step up from those YouTube talking head conspiracy "documentaries," complete with crummy looking images (almost certainly from a google image search) that are just thrown over the shots of Snyder rambling at the camera. And rambling seems to be the correct term here - I would be shocked if most of what is said in this movie was written down beforehand. Besides the people that are obviously reading their lines, of course.