11/25/16 - The Funhouse (1981)

Funhouse? More like Not-so-Funhouse, amirite? I just expected more from this film, I guess. What with the Tobe Hooper brand and the can't miss "slasher at a carnival" premise. (Both of which, it turns out, very much can miss.) The opening credits are pretty solid and are the highlight of the film. They're just tightly framed shots of creepy animatronics from around an old, rickety carnival funhouse. Unfortunately, it's pretty much downhill from there.

Especially when the very first thing you get (post-credits) is a shower scene with nudity from an actress that looks about 15. She was actually 18 or 19 at the time, but still. It's disconcerting, and not in a good way. Anyways, her little shit brother scares her - he grabs a bunch of horror paraphernalia from his room and pranks her by pretending to stab her while she's showering. First, gross. Second, it's set up like this kid will have *something* to do with the story. And while he hangs out at the periphery of the plot, he's literally a nothing character. It's hard to say why he's even in the film, other than to just pad the runtime. Maybe he had something better to do (like get killed?) in a different version of the script, but as it is he's just a waste of space.

11/21/16 - Jebadiah's Axe (2013)

Jebadiah's Axe starts off like it could be some fun. It looks *super* cheap, but in an enjoyable way. You get a nice guffaw from the bad effects in the opening scene, and the acting (or lack thereof) makes you think you might be in for a treat, like Jebadiah's Axe might be an enjoyable bad movie. But once you get to the relatively unexciting story/main characters, it just kind of plods along. There's some laughs to be had along the way, and it's really short (just over an hour). But generally speaking it's kind of tough to get through.

11/13/16 - Splatter University (1984)

I assume at some point in its development, Splatter University was known as Splatter High, because this here is one of the most unrealistic portrayals of college that I've ever seen. Maybe it was High and the filmmakers realized during editing that everyone looks kind of old? I mean, by the rules of the Splatter University universe, troublesome college kids are sent to St. Trinian's - a Catholic University - to get their heads on straight. I think if you're a troublemaker by that point in life, you generally ignore your parents and skip college, yeah? Splatter University plays it like it's military school for college kids, which just doesn't make any sense.

11/2/16 - Black Water Wilderness (2015)

Per Amazon: What happens when you mix Deliverance with Friday the 13th and a touch of the Breakfast Club, the result is Black Water Wilderness, a pulsating pounding action horror set in the frightening and dark backwoods of Alabama. Going camping in the woods will never be the same.

That's overselling it, as if the grammar didn't give it away. But there was still quite a bit I liked about Black Water Wilderness. It's definitely a horror film, but it makes a marked effort to try to throw a little story and teen angst in there too. Black Water Wilderness is no masterpiece by any means, and it's low budget seams show at times. But it's still a pleasant enough offering with it's heart in the right place.

10/27/16 - Prom Night (1980)

I had pretty high expectations for the original Prom Night. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say it's great, but it seems to have a decent enough reputation. And it's always fun to check out a slasher film from the late 70s/early 80s, when the template hadn't been totally set yet. Although I guess whether or not it should be considered it a slasher film proper is up for some debate - it really does feel more like a mystery/thriller rather than an out and out slasher flick. But I guess having Jamie Lee Curtis, a masked killer, and being released in the slasher boom will get you that reputation. And it probably didn't hurt at the box office either.

10/26/16 - Blood Hook (1986)

Since we really needed a fishing-based horror film - we got Blood Hook. By "we" I mean mid-80s American Video stores (I'd guess this wasn't big in theaters), and by "horror film" I mean a goofy comedy masquerading as a horror film. Blood Hook is the kind of deal where you can't really tell (at first) if the filmmakers are spoofing the genre or just being really generic and tone deaf. And muddying the waters even more - it's got that regional feel to it, as it was shot in beautiful Hayward, Wisconsin. (Making it my third Wisconsin-based film of the month, after The Rohl Farm Haunting and Deranged. Strange.) But eventually you get the idea that it was written and shot with its tongue planted firmly in cheek.

10/17/16 - The Girl in the Photographs

The Girl in the Photographs is the last thing horror maestro Wes Craven had his name attached to before his death in 2015 (he was the executive producer). It's too bad that this film has gotten pretty bad-to-middling reviews - it would have been nice to see his career end on a high note. But the "For Wes" at the end isn't totally embarrassing. It's always kind of depressing when an absolute piece of crap is dedicated to a recently deceased person. And The Girl in the Photographs isn't an absolute piece of crap. That's not to say it's good - it has good moments and looks nice at times, but generally is bogged down by an uninteresting story, lack of tension, and annoying characters.

It is kind of funny though, in that it starts off like Craven's (2nd?) most influential film Scream - but in a way that will only really click with horror nerds.