I assume at some point in its development, Splatter University was known as Splatter High, because this here is one of the most unrealistic portrayals of college that I've ever seen. Maybe it was High and the filmmakers realized during editing that everyone looks kind of old? I mean, by the rules of the Splatter University universe, troublesome college kids are sent to St. Trinian's - a Catholic University - to get their heads on straight. I think if you're a troublemaker by that point in life, you generally ignore your parents and skip college, yeah? Splatter University plays it like it's military school for college kids, which just doesn't make any sense.
My Synopsis: Julie Parker is the new professor at St. Trinian's University. She's replacing a professor who was mysteriously murdered, and the killings don't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Julie tries to figure out what's happening, but she has to wade through a bunch of crazy stuff (apathetic students, sketchy priests, and another professor who may not be what he seems to be) to solve the case. But will she get her master's degree in, uh... getting killed from Splatter University? (The version on the box is better - "earn a higher degree in terror!")
Elaborate Genre: Somewhat comedic slasher
Overall: Pretty breezy flick with a little dose of grubby college comedy. Splatter University is pretty stupid and is never too tense or scary. But it's short, and it's always fun seeing idiot "teens" get killed.
First things first: the kids at St. Trinians are a really annoying and unlikeable bunch. Which is usually a big turn off for me in a slasher, but Splatter University gets points by keeping more in the in the background/B-plot. That way, you can have them be the obnoxious horndogs that you want to see die, without ever getting too sick of them. Fair warning though - there is a group of students that was added after principal photography (to pad out the film, per imdb). Here's where they are the worst - most notably a guy named Wolf who is prone to howling at women and air-humping. Since they aren't actually part of the real movie, they never get their comeuppance. Oh, and if you don't like Boston accents steer clear of this one. They're wicked thick here.
Splatter University focuses mainly on Professor Julie Parker (Forbes Riley - whom you may know from the famous series of infomercials for Jack LaLanne's juicers!) rather than her mostly idiot students. Parker is a good main character - she's likable and behaves semi-rationally for most of the film. And Riley plays her with a bit of innocence and naivete. She's just graduated herself (not from Splatter U.) and is an easy character to get behind. You feel for her while she tries to find her way in the world teaching shitty students at a shitty University.
The editing in the film is kind of weird. Scenes just end abruptly, like they cut the shot too early when they were filming or something. But this does lead to the film moving at a pretty good clip. Even though the body count isn't super high or anything, enough stuff happens (in a short runtime - it's like 75 minutes long) that it never drags. Splatter University never comes even close to feeling like a well-crafted film (you can see the camera's reflection/shadows on more than one occasion). But despite a low production value, it moves, you know?
As far as the slasher/gore stuff? Eh... There's not a lot of outright stalking happening. You know when the killer is around (usually you see his shoes), but it's never done in a way that is able to build tension. Usually a kill will go like this: victim opens a door, you see the killer's torso and gloved hand holding a knife, and: cut to the knife stabbing into a pile of clothes with no person behind it. It's often bloody, but the visual of a knife going into a bunch of stuffing or whatever is actually kind of charming. Which is a weird adjective to use for a disembowelment, but there it is. The aftereffects are pretty gory though - dark red blood coming from people's mouths and what not. They aren't Holy Shit kills or anything (okay, maybe one is - but that's more surprising than anything), but they are good for what is clearly a low budget early 80's slasher.
So yeah, Splatter University is quick and painless. It's not going to set the world on fire, but it's dumb fun.
I would recommend this film.
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