I'm kind of loving these 80s movies from the Troma library. I perk up whenever I see the old, dull transfer of the Troma logo preceding a film. While their particular in-house brand of goofy gore (or whatever) doesn't really do it for me, they managed to accumulate a number of independently produced films that are weird enough to be enjoyable. Terrible gems? (Nightmare Weekend being my current favorite, I think.) Death by Dialogue is no gem, but it's dumb enough to be kind of fun.
Death by Dialogue has a premise that lets the film go pretty much where ever it wants to. There's this haunted script, you see, that generates scenes that makes bad guys materialize in the real world and kill people in crazy ways. So even though none of the kills here are particularly well-executed, at least there's a lot of variety to them. It doesn't change the fact that Death by Dialogue is a really bad title. While it's true that both words start with the same letter, even by the loose standards of this universe it doesn't make a lick of sense. No one dies by the spoken word. Oh well.
My Synopsis: Five friends go on a fun little trip - one of their uncles owns an old movie set/town, or something. But just before they get there, a haunted script is unearthed. Basically, the script has a bunch of blank pages, where words just magically generate and become reality. (It's from a curse from an Amazonian tribe (I think) - it's stupid and not worth getting into here.) But the script wants revenge and it loves killing people. So our friends are stuck at the old house, with the paralyzed uncle and his caretaker. Fighting a script. Will anyone make it out alive?
Elaborate Genre: Cheesy Monster Slasher thing
Overall: Certainly no good. And not quite a terrible gem. But enough dumb fun that it was worth a watch.
First things first. The song that plays over the opening credits is amazing in all the worst ways. It's called "Night of Our Lives" by Azha. And boy oh boy, does it set the tone for this movie. The vocals are kind of off key (or maybe that's just the transfer from the VHS tape), and tonally you can't really if it's a female vocalist or a guy doing a Geddy Lee impression. And it's got some of the best lyrics this side of "Friday." To wit:
Lose your soul - to rock and roll
Party down and lose control
Getting up and getting out
Getting crazy scream and shout
It's terrible, and I absolutely love it. It kind of pisses me off that it's not on youtube. C'mon internet! Honestly, it's worth heading over (if you've got Amazon Prime) and checking out the first 10 minutes of Death by Dialogue. You'll get a shot of a random woman in a garter belt and trench coat absolutely TORCHING a guy with a flamethrower, and a great song. And stick around to hear the weird cadence of Nightmare on Elm Street 3's Ken Sagoes.
And seriously, it's worth noting that the guy on fire is maybe more on fire than anyone I've ever seen in a movie.
The rest of the film can't quite keep up with the gloriousness promised in the opening scenes. The plot (as it were) is pretty useless - it's not too easy to build an engaging plot around a haunted script. The characters are dull and are basically in a generic 80s mold. They are just kind of there - one couple is more horny than the other, and one of the guys has a nice perm. That's about the extent of it. Although after watching Invoked the other day - what's the deal with horror movies having traveling groups with odd numbers? I mean, it's guaranteed that there's going to be a fifth wheel here, as there are already two pre-paired couples. Hey Ken Sagoes, want to come watch us make out for the weekend?
The only time Death by Dialogue comes alive is during the kill scenes. And honestly, they are kind of awesome. If only because there is no rhyme or reason to them. One time a woman just gets blasted out of a barn, never to be seen again, like she got shot into space or something. And another time a dude comes across a hair band playing "When the Ax Comes Down," so we are treated to a little musical number before his head is literally blown up by an ax. None of the effects are particularly good, but they are just so random that it's pretty damned funny.
But everything else is kind of flat. Which is too bad - there's some crazy stuff here. The kills, the (uncomfortably long) nude scenes, the chintzy 80s style - Death by Dialogue is kind of fun, but it *should* be an absolute riot. It's no slog, but I wish it was better. Other than about 15 minutes of off-the-wall shit, it's the kind of film that is a lot more fun to look back on than to actually watch.
I'm going to go back to "Night of Our Lives." Check it out. If you think it's funny, I think there's a good chance you'll get something out of Death by Dialogue. And at the very least you'll hear it again during the end credits.
I would kind of recommend this film.
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