When I did this last time, once I missed writing about a couple of movies in a row, it was all too easy to fall behind. Which ended up creating a vicious cycle where I ended up not even wanting to write, missing out on entire months, and so on. Hopefully, allowing myself a little leeway here and there will make for a happier and healthier blog experience. I'm shooting to have my shit together by Sunday, but we'll see what happens...
11/9/16 - Don't Blink (2014)
Don't Blink (on Netflix Streaming) stars Brian Austin Green and Mena Suvari as part of a group of friends who go to a "secluded mountain resort" for a little vacation. I expected a standard cabin in the woods scenario, but this resort is SUPER nice - it's very luxurious and not rustic at all. Anyways, they get up there and encounter a mystery (Zoinks!) - the resort is totally empty, and it seems like everyone left in a hurry. Maybe Phantoms came?
Anyways, Don't Blink isn't terrible. It's competently made, but really ends up being more about the inter-group dynamics than any sort of external terror, which sort of bummed me out. I won't spoil what's actually going on, but I'll tell you what it isn't: a monster. There's a little blood here and there, but nothing too crazy. And honestly, they could have laid-off the blood and an F-bomb and not lost anything of value. It probably could even get a more kid friendly rating if it wanted. Although I expect this was direct to streaming, and is currently rated TV-MA. So it could trick people like me into watching it, I guess. I'm sure definitely not checking out a TV-14 movie with a former 90210 cast-member, that's for damned sure. So nice work, Don't Blink. You got me.
I'm not mad at it, but I was pretty bored with it.
11/10/16 - Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)
I didn't see the original Ouija, but I feel safe in assuming it was terrible. (What? How could a movie based on a Board Game be terrible?) I had a higher hopes for the sequel - knowing it was a Mike Flanagan jam (I loved Absentia) and having heard relatively good things about it.
Now having made a rare trip to the theater to see it (all the while trying not to get too pissed at the wrapper man in front of me, who also had on a Loud Windbreaker and couldn't sit still for more than 30 seconds without swooshing his ass around... hence the "rare" part), I thought it was very good for the first half. And then it pretty much just becomes a generic PG-13 mainstream horror film. Which is what it is, and it's making money, I guess. So good on them.
It's Los Angeles, 1967. There's this family (Mom & 2 daughters) reeling from the tragic loss of their father. Mom is a "psychic" - although she is seen early on to be a sham. But, much like our good friends in Apparition, she's just doing it provide "closure," so we shouldn't hate her. Anyways, when they buy one of those new-fangled Ouija boards for the act, it turns out young daughter might actually have a legit gift for contacting the dead! But sometimes the dead are best left alone...
Origin of Evil does some things really well. The period piece feel of the whole shebang is well done - the sets/cars/all that are a nice nod to when America Was Great, and you even get some little production quirks/throwbacks (the old Universal Films label, and even (I assume for show only) cue marks). And the slow burn feel of the first half of the is solid. I mean, it might feel "boring" to the teenagers checking this out in 2016, but there is a nice building of tension while the younger daughter slowly gets possessed (or whatever) by the spirits that can use the Ouija board as a portal. And the gimmick of looking through the Ouija piece as a lens to the spirit world provides a couple of creepy first-person shots.
But you can pretty much draw a line in the sand once you see the spooky, almost certainly Insidious-inspired demon guy. And then Origin of Evil reminds you what is "scary" nowadays - kids with white eyes and CGI-stretched mouths, old-timey music, and walking on walls/ceilings. There are still moments that are inspired (the ending manages to be an impressive downer but also kind of aggravating at the same time), but overall the second-half is a big letdown from a really, really good first half.
But still, it's all right. And I don't want to sound like the annoying "director's first" snob, but you kind of get the feeling that there was some amount of interference from the studio - they gave Flanagan a certain amount of freedom, but he still had to hit certain points/spots/whatever.
Ouija: Origin of Evil is about as good, or maybe even slightly better, than you could reasonably hope for, considering it's a movie based on a board game made for mass consumption in 2016.
11/11/16 - Evil Ed (1995)
I'm kind of surprised Evil Ed (on Amazon Prime) didn't get sued. There are posters of other horror movies all over the place in this film, and it's a pretty obvious homage to 80s and 90s American horror (Evil Ed is Swedish). But I like to think that horror filmmakers are pretty cool and wouldn't worry about that kind of thing. Plus, Evil Ed (per Wikipedia) is basically a bloody satire ripping on the Swedish film censorship system, and who can't get behind that?
Ed is a quiet, bookish film editor who is abruptly assigned to work on the Loose Limbs series of slasher films, after the previous editor goes mad and blows his head up in a pretty solid cold open. The general (satirical) idea is that spending a lot of times with these splatter films will undoubtedly make a person go mad, turning them into a crazed blood-thirsty maniac. Ed follows suit, and in his delusions, fights demons, vampires, and even fridge gremlins. Or is he actually just killing normal people? Tune in to find out!
Evil Ed is kind of a (knowing) hoot. All of the dialogue is over-dubbed, which gives it a corny but still fun vibe. The films-within-a-film set-up allows for a lot of extra scenes of mindless splatter, which are basically just in there because they look cool. And that's kind of the films greatest strength, but also its biggest downfall. It never feels serious - the whole thing exists with its tongue too firmly in its cheek. It kind of feels like a really good and enjoyable demo reel that just happens to have pretty good connective tissue. The jokes kind of land and the gore is plentiful and well done, but it never feels like there are any major stakes here. But just because you don't particularly care about the characters doesn't mean you can't have fun watching their heads blow up.
All in all, Evil Ed is gory, breezy fun.
11/12/16 - Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973)
Not totally sure where to go with Lemora. It's a pretty enjoyable but also just kind of weird horror/fantasy film about an angelic young girl (maybe 16?) named Lila who ends up in a strange town, after she is conned/kidnapped? Per the mysterious letter she received, she's supposed to be visiting her dying (and famous gangster) father, but clearly there's more going on than meets the eye. She mostly stays/is-imprisoned at this weird lady's house (who HAS to be the inspiration for the Goblin Queen in Troll 2), while the surrounding woods are filled with some strange, not easily identifiable creatures. Clearly, something is rotten in Denmark, as the strange lady is telling her about some vague impending ritual and saying all sorts of cryptic things. Will Lila get out alive?
Oh, and it was banned by the Catholic church for over twenty years, presumably because of a weird subplot where there is some implied sexual tension between Lila and her adopted father (the reverend in the local church). The Netflix DVD says it's an "erotic" film, but I'm not so sure that's accurate. Unsettling in an ambiguous sexual way, maybe. But that would look weird on a DVD.
But it's still kind of a cool movie. Lemora shoots for a "horror fairy tale for adults" kind of thing, although it's never really gory - I guess the "adult" side would be more on a thematic level. Even though it's rated PG, I can't see any reason why a kid would get into it. There aren't many actiony set pieces, and it feels pretty cheap at times, as the creatures look more "TV-movie" quality than anything you'd expect from a feature film. But most importantly there's an undeniable creepy undertone to the proceedings that would probably go over youngster's heads. You find yourself wondering "just where is this going to go?" as the film moves on. It's shot like a restrained film at times, but story-wise/whatever it feels a little reckless.
Ultimately, if you think you can get into a PG-rated, kind of cheap, more-fantasy-than-horror, mid-70s jam, Lemora is well worth checking out.
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